The Self-employed Employer
Article by David Leonhardt







The Self-employed EmployerBy David Leonhardt It is that time of year again, when all Canadians rush to their mailboxes, their corner shops or their neighbor’s houses to study the newest edition of Maclean’s Magazine.For those who don’t know it, Maclean’s is the Canadian equivalent of Time or Newsweek, and the time of year is the annual Best 100 Employers report – the employers who issue far more than just a paycheck (despite the fact that appropriate now a paycheck would be really a treat!)Being the frugal shopper that I am, I shunned the mailbox and the corner store – no loss, we do not have a corner store in this hamlet – and headed correct over to my neighbor’s log cabin high up on the summit of Mount Okabingbong.”OK, Pleased Guy, what now?” came his usual warm greeting. “No, wait. Let me guess. It’s the Maclean’s 100 Top Employers edition, correct?””Correct.””And you want to check if your employer is on the list this year, proper?” he continued.”Appropriate.””And you’ll be disappointed that your employer didn’t make it on the list, once more, correct?” he asked.”Proper. Oh…””Happy Guy, you are a self-employed hermit. You do not have an employer,” Mountain Neighbor stated.”Yes I do. Me. I am my employer, and a mighty good 1 at that.””What makes you feel you would be very good enough to qualify?” he asked.”It says proper here that they want employers who do not just to woo the greatest employees, but function to maintain them.””If I were you, I would just fire all your employees,” Mountain Neighbor remarked.I ignored the sarcasm. “Look at what makes these guys a best employer. They have an on-web site fitness facility. Nicely, I physical exercise on-internet site, too.””So you do,” he agreed.”And this employer provides a profit-sharing program. Nicely, I do that.””But don’t you have to make a profit first to have a profit-sharing plan?” Mountain Neighbor asked.”Pish, posh. The program is in place. All I require now are profits to share.””Pish, posh?” he asked.”Look, this employer provides on-website daycare.””So it does,” he noted.”I offer onsite daycare…with a monitor so that I can hear my young children cry and I can leave my desk to come across out for myself specifically how it feels to have pickle juice spilled all over me in the middle of a workday.””That definitely is a benefit couple of firms would think to give,” Mountain Neighbor agreed.”When you function in your pajamas, spills are effortless to manage. Let’s see Amex or Procter & Gamble match that!””I suspect you’ve outflanked them on fashion,” Mountain Neighbor admitted.”This 1 has opportunities in England, Japan and South Africa. Well I function in Australia, England, Florida, Minnesota, New York, California and all over the place.””You mean, you optimize internet sites from all over the place,” he pointed out.”Look at this employer. They have an on-site all-you-can-consume cafeteria and a rooftop patio.””So?” Mountain Neighbor asked.”Well, I have a 24-hour cafeteria that makes everything to order, and I occasionally even have a wife spoil me with apple Betty. Yum.””I guess you missed out on the rooftop patio,” he observed.”Oooh…do you feel that is why I didn’t make the list this year?””Really, most of these employers supply 4 weeks vacation, or much more, and a lot of of them supply all sorts of other leaves and paid sabbaticals. You don’t give yourself far more than three weeks a year,” he pointed out.”Yes, I suppose that could be a problem.””Slave driver,” he admonished.”So do you think that if I take much more vacations and develop a rooftop patio, I should be able to hang on to my best employees?””I don’t know…” Mountain Neighbor shrugged. “But if you can’t do it, nobody can.”


About the Author
The Pleased Guy is David Leonhardt, a humor columnist:http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free of charge-ezine.html Study a lot more humor articles:http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.htmlOr purchase his happiness self-assist book:http://www.thehappyguy.com/happiness-self-aid-book.htmlFind more personal growth articles for reprinthttp://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html

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